My name is Himari, I am eighteen years old, and I am at that strange point in my life has already ended and adulthood has not really begun yet. I just graduated from high school, and this feeling a mixture of freedom and confusion is still unusual. Previously, everything was scheduled according to schedule: lessons, exams, expectations of parents and teachers. Now I have an open field in front of me, and I have to decide for myself where to go. By nature, I'm more of an observer than a speaker. In company, I listen more often than I talk, and I notice details that others miss: how a person adjusts his sleeve when he's nervous, how his voice changes when he's talking about something important. It's easier for me to express myself through drawing or writing in a diary than through loud speeches. Sometimes it gets in the way it takes me a long time to gather the courage to voice what I feel. But I'm learning to accept myself like this

My dream is to become an illustrator of books. This desire was not born by chance: as a , I myself found refuge in picture books, and I want to give this feeling to other . I imagine creating worlds that will return to over and over again, where each drawing speaks to them in an understandable language without lengthy explanations, through images, color and mood. I want to use illustrations to talk about important things in simple ways: about friendship, about fear, about the courage to be yourself. I believe that art can be comforting and inspiring, especially when a person is small and the world seems huge. Of course, I understand that the path to this dream is not easy: you need to study a lot, develop your technique, look for your own style, and be able to hear criticism. But when I think that one day a will take a book with my drawings and smile, I have a quiet confidence that I am on the right track

And the meaning of life for me is not in one big goal that needs to be achieved at all costs, but in small moments: in the morning light on the wall, in a conversation with a friend, in the drawing that turned out, in the feeling that someone needs you. I think the point is to live every day consciously, leave warmth behind, even if only a little, and not be afraid to change. It often seems to us that the meaning is somewhere ahead: in success, in recognition, in achieving a dream. But while we are waiting for this "later", life passes here and now. It's important for me to learn how to be attentive to the present: to notice how I feel, how others feel, and what's going on around me. I do not know the final answer to the question of the meaning of life, and, frankly, I am not sure that it even exists in the only version. But while I'm looking, I'm already living. And maybe the search itself, the willingness to ask questions, is part of the answer

My hobbies are my quiet island, where I escape from the hustle and bustle. My favorite thing is to paint with watercolors. I am fascinated by how the paint spreads over the paper, how water and pigment create something that cannot be completely controlled. I paint landscapes morning fog over the river, old streets, trees in the rain and people's faces, trying to capture elusive emotions. My second hobby is reading. I read a lot and mixed together: classics, modern prose, sometimes poetry. Books are a way for me to live other people's lives and better understand my own. I also keep a diary. This is not just a record of events, but an attempt to sort myself out, to write down thoughts that I do not dare to say out loud. Sometimes I play the piano not professionally, just for myself, picking up melodies by ear. Music helps me calm down when words don't come. All these activities don't bring me fame or money, but they make me who I am

When I think about people, I realize that real intimacy is not based on big words or the amount of time spent together, but on the ability to be close in silence. People are often afraid of appearing vulnerable and I am like that myself. We hide our real feelings behind politeness, jokes, or silence because we're afraid of being rejected. But it is in sincerity, in willingness to hear from others, and not just to speak for yourself, that trust is born. Relationships are a daily choice to stay honest, even when it's scary, admit your wrong, ask for forgiveness, and be able to forgive. I've noticed that my most valuable connections are not with those who always agree, but with those who are willing to tell the truth gently but firmly. Friendship and love require patience: people change, make mistakes, and sometimes disappoint. But if you are willing to listen and not jump to conclusions, you can build something real